A soon-to-be father, Marc Goldberg, who lives in Israel with his wife, writes how the current wave of terror has left him feeling fearful, helpless, and at the mercy of those who wish to harm his family. He wants to protect them, though, so he turns to God, asking Him to keep his wife and unborn child safe because he loves his family above all else.
I prayed because my daughter is due to be born any minute now. I prayed because my country is descending into chaos. I prayed because I don’t know what else to do…
Tonight, I experienced the first terrors of a father. I experienced the fear that comes from a Jewish father-to-be who knows that despite the fact his daughter isn’t even born, there are people out there in the dark who wish to kill her. I experienced the terror of knowing that, among those going out with knives into the night, a heavily pregnant woman is the ultimate prize, the opportunity to kill two Jews with one blow. Those two Jews are the entirety of my life and I would give my all to make sure nothing happened to them.
Walking down the street in the big outside I was too distracted to feel the life of Tel Aviv around me. The people in the bars and restaurants and my wife beside me. I was preoccupied during the first part of our walk, down King George Street and then along Allenby, too preoccupied to speak. All I could think about was what would happen if I lost my wife and child to some murderer. Someone waiting out there in the night with nothing more than a screwdriver and the intent to kill.
I kept imagining the 23-year-old me sneering at his 36-year-old elder. That paratrooper went out looking for trouble, that 23-year-old insisted that the enemy be scared of him, rather than vice versa. But that 23-year-old is gone and this man is left. And unlike that 23-year-old, this older man has something precious to lose. But in a way that 23-year-old could never have understood, his 36-year-old self has something to protect. A family more important than himself.